Why Did I Get Married?

**Warm** · 07-17-2008, 06:46 PM

I know this is not a new movie, but my husband and I JUST saw it last night on DVD. Anyway, I enjoyed it because it sparked hubby-wife discussion and because I could actually relate to some of the material in the movie. We ended up debating the whole cheating thing with my husband's idea that a long marriage should not be thrown away for an affair that led to nothing while I feel like an affair is grounds for divorce whether a couple has been together for a year or 20 years. Also, I could relate to "Perfect Patty" in that I've always been expected to do the right thing, so it's a big deal to me when I mess up. Likewise, I saw myself in Shelia, who has issues with her body.

Has anyone else seen this movie? What did you think about it? Could you see yourself in any of the characters? What comments do you have about the situations in the movie? How do you feel about the 80/20 rule?

**KHARMA** · 07-17-2008, 07:15 PM

If you are married, you are probably getting about 80% of your needs met. The other 20% don’t get met for whatever reason. Suddenly a person comes around and begins to give you that 20% of the attention that you needed and it FEELS GOOD! That 20% was missed so much that you are just enthralled with that 20%. You can’t get enough of the 20%. What happens though is that you begin to neglect the person who is giving you 80% and therefore risking losing 80%. In the end it comes down to a simple math equation. You lose 80% to gain 20% and you lose more than you gain. It doesn’t seem worth it doesn’t it?

I dont think its possible for someone to give 100%, 100% of the time. Try as you may, if you have kids and a job, on top of trying to be a social butterfly, it unlikely. Maybe its because I'm not married yet, so my focus is still on me...someone correct me if I'm wrong.

I didnt really connect with any of the characters..or rather, I didnt see myself in any of them. As women, at one point or another, we will have issues with our bodies, but I dont obsess over it.

Now if my husband would have told me to get my fat ass off the plane, his black ass is coming with me! Aint no "meet us there!" N*gga done lost his damn mind!

As far as the cheating/divorce thing....its all up to the individual couple...Warm, I cant remember, but I think you and I had a discussion on this before about Hillary not leaving Bill...we didnt agree..I just think options have to be weighed...if you have more to lose by staying, then by all means, leave. If someone has been married a year and cheats, I think it would be a little easier for the "cheated on" to walk away, as opposed to a couple that has been married 20 years, has kids, a mortgage and a foundation has been built.....just my 10 cent (cause I'm a dime!) tee hee

**Warm** · 07-17-2008, 10:00 PM

Nope, I wasn't the one who discussed Hilary and Bill.

**cc5k** · 07-17-2008, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Warm

We ended up debating the whole cheating thing with my husband's idea that a long marriage should not be thrown away for an affair that led to nothing while I feel like an affair is grounds for divorce whether a couple has been together for a year or 20 years.

I agree with you that an affair is grounds for divorce, no questions asked.

**TUCKER** · 07-17-2008, 11:08 PM

I thought it was okay, typical TYLER PERRY for sure. A little too thin for me to really like though. The wife was far too weak. The hubby was way too bold, I mean got his girl friend with him at a couples retreat. There was something about the football player with the beautician wife, that I didn't care for too. But JANET JACKSON just walked through her role for the most part. It seemed like she was just in it for the star power and the money. She was way too wise to be the counselor considering everything she was dealing with in her personal life. Oh, lest I forget, Jill Scott having an affair with Barney Fife in the snow wellllllll

It was good to see a movie with so many Black people in it, gotta thank PERRY for that.

**kisha29** · 07-18-2008, 12:23 AM

I haven't seen this one yet but it is on my list. I've noticed that with the few Tyler Perry movies they all seem to go the same way.

**angeladc** · 07-18-2008, 12:52 PM

Yeah , I've seen this movie and I thought it was good. It was nice to see the classier side of black people all in a movie together.

**Warm** · 07-18-2008, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TUCKER

Oh, lest I forget, Jill Scott having an affair with Barney Fife in the snow wellllllll

Jill's character was already divorced when she and Troy started becoming more than friends.

**TUCKER** · 07-19-2008, 12:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Warm

Jill's character was already divorced when she and Troy started becoming more than friends.

If thats the case then my bad. I thought they were going to a couples retreat with Janet as the "MARRIAGE" counselor.

**cc5k** · 07-19-2008, 02:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by angeladc

Yeah , I've seen this movie and I thought it was good. It was nice to see the classier side of black people all in a movie together.

Yeah, but IMO, they over did it. Remember the scene where they made a point to say what everyone's profession was? Doctor, top lawyer at the firm, business owner, blah blah blah... I felt like Perry was trying a little hard with that part.

**KweenSparky** · 07-23-2008, 04:43 PM

That may be so cck, but has he not catered to the poor folk mentality long enough with Madea and her antics? Brown and his wardrobe?

**cc5k** · 07-23-2008, 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KweenSparky

That may be so cck, but has he not catered to the poor folk mentality long enough with Madea and her antics? Brown and his wardrobe?

Oh, he has, I agree. But this is still catering to the poor folk IMO, b/c people with high-paying jobs can't relate to how that kind of "lifestyle" is represented in the film.

**TUCKER** · 07-23-2008, 10:06 PM

So this is further proof that as BIGGIE said, "THE MO MONEY WE GET, THE MO PROBLEMS WE SEE." All these folks was living shamefully large. But the bottom line was it was your standard Tyler Perry fare, rich, or po, nuts, or sane, still hokey and still wack! But hes found an audience and lord knows hes milkin it!

**BISHOP** · 07-24-2008, 07:44 AM

I saw it. Typical Perry movie. Most people have seen his movies in play form on DVD already.