[Phoenix]

Originally Posted by KHARMA

PHOENIX, PHOENIX, PHOENIX....I REALLY TRIED TO KEEP FROM ENTERTAINING THESE POSTS, AND I KNOW YOU AND I HAVE DISCUSSED THIS TOPIC BEFORE, BUT I FIND THIS A LITTLE NERVE-WRECKING. I AM A BLACK WOMAN, AND I, LIKE MANY OTHER BLACK WOMEN HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO DETER BLACK MEN. THERE ARE SO MANY SHORT-COMINGS THAT I COULD SIT HERE AND LIST ABOUT BLACK MEN AS TO WHY BLACK WOMEN SHOULD LOOK TO OTHER RACES, BUT I DONT/WONT...SIMPLY BECAUSE I KNOW ALL BLACK MEN CANNOT BE CATOGORIZED/STEREOTYPED. I KNOW YOU SAID ONCE BEFORE THAT YOU ARE MAKING REFERENCE TO THE BLACK WOMEN YOU OR YOUR FRIENDS HAVE ENCOUNTERED, BUT AS I READ MORE OF YOUR POSTS, THE MORE GENERALIZED THEY ARE BECOMING TOWARDS ALL BLACK WOMEN. THE BLACK WOMEN YOU HAVE ENCOUNTERED DO NOT REPRESENT ALL BLACK WOMEN AND SHOULD A BLACK MAN CHOOSE TO BE WITH A WHITE WOMAN, THAT IS HIS CHOICE SIMPLY PUT...MAYBE THATS JUST HIS PREFERENCE AND JUST MAYBE HIS PREFERENCE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT A BLACK WOMAN HAS DONE TO HIM IN THE PAST...ITS NOT A WISE MOVE TO POST (CONTINUOUSLY) DEROGATIVE COMMENTS ABOUT BLACK WOMEN ON A MESSAGE BOARD THAT YOU KNOW HAS BLACK WOMEN ON IT. SEEMS TO ME THAT THE WOMEN ON THIS BOARD HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH MEN- WHITE, BLACK OR OTHERWISE, AND IF SO, FROM WHAT I HAVE SEEN, THEY HAVE KEPT THEIR GRIPES TO THEMSELVES OR TO A MINIMUM. YOU'VE STATED HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT US (BLACK WOMEN) ALREADY, WE KNOW WHERE YOU STAND, CANT WE JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT FROM THIS POINT ON? IT SEEMS THAT YOU HAVE HAD SOME PROBLEMS IN THE PAST WITH BLACK WOMEN, INSTEAD OF CONSTANTLY PUNISHING US (BFRU BLACK WOMEN) YOU MAY WANT TO CONSIDER FINDING WHATEVER BOARD THOSE BLACK WOMEN FREQUENT AND LET THEM KNOW HOW YOU FEEL! :mad:

I NOW RETURN YOU TO MY NORMAL, LOVABLE SELF ;D

Regrettably, I will continue to point these things out when appropriate and when they come to my attention as happened yesterday. If you want it to end, then tell the moderator to ban me. It's just that simple. I absolutely will not stop because it's as central as anything that confronts Black people, the topic of this list. As I have said, I have been banned for EVERY group I have ever been apart of. It's not going to hurt my feeling. In fact, it will give me more time.

It is not simply a matter of preference for most men. Many guys start out in life with high hopes of finding that special sista to be his life long-mate and then they have to turn to others to find happiness or at least a shot at happiness because relationships are hard in general, white, black, Asian, foreign, whatever. I'm one of those guys that had to turn to a woman outside of my race/culture.

One reason I know it's not simply preference because when many Black men go to Latin America they pursue women of African descent. In fact, some will ONLY consider women of African descent. They are seeking warmth and affection in black skin, which is hard to find due to attitudes of women here.

As far as generalities, I have already addressed that. These trends and behaviors are shockingly common place. There are exceptions and you certainly are one of them or at least you came to be one of them after your personal experiences. I guess, until I hear women express these concerns publicly and push for change, I will continue to be a thorn in the sides of Black people. All that's ever expressed is it's "not all Black women" and how dare you generalize and it drops there. There is never any recognition of the underlying truths of these issues within the Black community and that's the case because it would have to be recognized that Black women are at least partly at fault for the problems we have (which is not possible because everyone knows it's all the Black man's fault.) The fact that five or ten or 15 percent of the sistas fall outside of these patterns in no way blunts my concerns or dilutes my arguments. I know at least this, enough women fall within these patterns to have made my life miserable, not to mention lonely. Loneliness that was only abated when meeting the many beautiful and approachable women of Panama and Colombia.

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Women bitch and complain about men all the damn time. I'm that opposite reaction. What do you think? Do you think these things don't hurt men? Do you think it doesn't hurt to be ignored by (not women) but by Black women? To hear there are no good Black men? To see women with men who looked like they just got out of prison while you have a graduate degree from one of the best universities in the nation? To understand the fact that even when brothers find a sista often it's a living hell because of the attitudes, which by the way, they never can see as being problematic because it's all they have ever seen in life.

If it were just me you all could dismiss me as some nut. But it's not. As I have mentioned, there is a growing movement of men who have decided to no longer remain silent. The reason why you don't hear more from such men is because they are usually banned and silenced once someone labels them as hating black women (and usually there is a "you just want a white woman anyway" thrown in there some where). These guys don't hate black women, they love them with all their hearts. That why they speak out. It sounds rough, it sound tough, it sounds mean, but it is truly out of love.

I'm telling you, when I go to a mall and see almost a dozen black men with white women there is a problem somewhere. You guys can keep your heads in the sand and simply say it's a preference if you want to.

Perhaps there is an ignore feature that can be added to the list so you won't ever have to read anything I say again, if not, as I said, there most definitely is a ban button that can be exercised at the moderator's discretion when I get too unbearable. I accept my fate.

However, I will never be silent, I will never stop, and if banned, I will continue to point these things out, if not here and if not on the Internet, in some form or fashion until the day I die and won't have to be feel the lasting sting of being rejected by my own sisters, the women I admire and love so much.